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Miedo a quedarse al margen – Fear of Missing Out

Scrolling through influencers’ posts and news articles about living abroad, there’s the disquieting thought at the back of your head. It’s the Fear of Missing Out. This is an idea many of us have: How did they do that? And why can’t I? As of this writing in April 2025, the U.S. stock markets, to put it mildly, have seen some volatility. Consumers seem to be hunkering down amid fears of a recession looming just over the horizon.

Since then, there’s been a “pause” on tariffs instituted by the U.S. administration. But now bond markets are jittery over the proposed budget that looks like it’ll add trillions to the U.S. deficit.

Against this backdrop, some are rekindling old passions about sailing off into the sunset and leaving the disarray behind. But we are frozen in place. We have commitments, expenses, and family that stay our hand. Inversely, there’s the fear of missing out. Daily, it seems, there’s an article or post that catches our eyes. It’ll show happy couples extolling their new life abroad or exotic place they’re living in. So, is it too late?

Our personal experience – your results will differ

I want to state at the outset that I’m not a financial advisor. I’m keenly aware that everyone’s situation is different. It’s what we did in the past that will decided our future. Simplistic, I know. Let me explain.

Years ago, I was mid-career but very much seeing the glass ceiling for advancement. I attended college for two years, but dropped out because I was doing quite well as a news videographer. At the time I thought that would be my future. But as with many things, I became disillusioned with the TV business and burned out. I always regretted not getting my degree, so (FOMO) I decided to return to university.

Living for years below my budget, I prepared for the leap. I was unmarried without children. After selling my house I managed to cut my expenses. It was then I really started socking away the cash. Then I met my future wife. She was somewhat taken aback when I mused about living on a box on a beach in Mexico. I wasn’t completely serious about that box bit. Yet, the idea of living abroad had always intrigued me. It intrigued her too. So the question became how to tie all these goals together?

The 90s were the beginning of the Internet age. Talk of Globalism – the international connectedness of countries- was rampant. Was I missing out on that? Then, after hitting upon the idea of completing my studies overseas, things started falling into place. I identified several colleges from online searches that met my criteria – namely degree-granting, U.S. accredited – and we made our plans to visit. During that whirlwind week, we explored cities and campuses. The calculation was simple, “Can we see ourselves living here for two years?”

Decisions are made

John Cabot University in Rome, Italy, ticked all those boxes. I wrote a check for the deposit before returning to the U.S. During my exploratory trip abroad, my company announced a Voluntary Severance Package, which I jumped at. Two months later, I was out of a job. Two months more and I was a non-traditional (older) student nervously starting my International Relations degree.

Some context goes here. The tragic events of 9/11 occurred two weeks after starting classes. After the first shock, I feared that my plans would be scuttled. Nevertheless, it was only a temporary closure and classes soon resumed. Since we had our living expenses set aside in cash, the ensuing stock market’s tumble didn’t affect our immediate finances. There were the Individual Retirement Accounts I held, but my ironclad rule was never to touch the funds. That money didn’t exist in the plan.

 It’s never one, big decision. It’s all the incremental steps that lead up to it. When an opportunity presents itself, you can be ready to take advantage of it.

I wanted to be a full-time student. Having learnt my lesson from my earlier academic foray, I didn’t want to repeat that mistake. Trying to work full time and juggle a full course load was folly. On top of that, it was decidedly cheaper. For example, we paid 75 EUR every six months for our European health insurance. Housing was 10,000 EUR a year. And dining out was a joy! Admittedly, this was 2001-2003, but even then U.S. insurance premiums ran into the hundreds of dollars a year. That didn’t take into account the copays. Tuition was really the only major expense.

Again FOMO. It seemed the successful people around me had advanced degrees. So, I applied to several Masters’ programs. I was accepted by Syracuse University and earned the M.S. in Media Management in 2004. Even then, I needed to restart my career and didn’t enjoy the same pay level as before. But I was happier with my choices.

Don’t let fear be your sole motivation or hold you back

So, another twenty years pass. Again, I hit the limits – this time due to age discrimination. I’m not singling out my last job for this. But it was obvious as I applied for other positions outside my then-current employer. When the HR departments saw my graduation dates or other info, the door was shut. At that point, my parsimonious ways paid off.

During the ensuing years since grad school, I continue contributing to my retirement plans. My fear was if I didn’t, I’d have nothing to live off of during my golden years. Also, I was quite aware of statistics that showed many older employees didn’t have the choice of retiring. Many were laid off. For the “fortunate” few, they found themselves working because they couldn’t afford to quit. That’s the worrying part.

We had a big worry. If we waited too long to retire, would we be physically capable of doing the things we longed to do? That included such mundane tasks as going up and down the stairs. It also involved walking to the local market. Even just getting around was a concern. Plus, all those people on social media seemed to be having such fun! 

We had long dreamed of returning to Europe – and exposing our child to that lifestyle. So, no time like the time of COVID to do something really scary. Once the initial fear of the pandemic had subsided, we girded ourselves and made the move.

It hasn’t been all smooth going. Certainly, it helps to run to something rather than away. Fear can freeze you in place. It can also kick you into a higher gear. This creates the impetus for change. Right now, our concern is what’s happening back in the U.S. All our money is tied up in U.S. funds, so we can’t just walk away from that. But by living abroad, we hope to miss out on the tumultuous aspects of the domestic scene.